10 Quick Reasons You Should Not Be Dating Him/Her

Last night I tuned into @RealTalkKim’s periscope session and it blessed my life. So I wanted to share what she said, word for word.

Disclaimer: This advice is only for people dating; not for married people.

  • Pray over yourself before you go on dates. Pray against distractions and emotions.
  • You need people around you who will tell you the truth.
  • Love is a choice.
  • Don’t make a husband out of a man before God makes a man out of him. Don’t marry him in your mind…. Vis versa for men: Don’t make a wife out of a woman, before God makes a woman out of her.
  1. They are not willing to fight for purity.
  • If they won’t fight for purity prior to marriage, then it is a greater       chance they won’t fight for purity during the marriage.
  1. If they are trying to get you to compromise God’s word. Leading you astray and away from God’s word.
  •  The way they have lived in their past and the way they are living  now are indicators of how they are going to live when they marry you.
  • You cannot change them; you are NOT the Holy Spirit.
  1. If you always have to defend that person to your family and friends.
  •  Love is blind…and many times you cannot see the blind spots that others can see so clearly.
  1. If you find yourself not wanting to talk about him/her in front of people you love because they may disapprove.
  • You are ignoring all the red flags and being led only by emotions.
  • If you are hiding the relationship from your parents and best friends: when this happens, you are choosing to ignore what the Lord could be trying to make obvious through others because you are too involved emotionally to make a rational decision
  1. You know the relationship is not going anywhere; you only stay because it identifies yourself.
  • Your identity is in Christ because he created you.
  • A woman or man cannot complete you.
  • You attract broken, if you are broken.

     “Put a Do Not Disturb Sign on your heart & allow for God to heal you.” – @RealTalkKim

  1. You find out they are lying to you.
  • If they lie before marriage, you will lie after marriage
  • Marriage only makes people more comfortable.
  1. If you cannot confront them about issues without them losing their temper. RUN.
  • If the love is real, they are suppose to trust you can correct them and that you are trying to protect them. If you are in a relationship and they do not trust you to protect them. RUN.
  • If someone is willing to go to counseling, praise God. We all have issues we need to work on, and if they are willing to work on their issues, Praise God. If s/he is trying, HOLD ON & Fight for them.
  • However, don’t be Co dependent on the break up & co dependent on the toxic relationship and stay longer than God tells you. God gives you free will. People are afraid to let go because they ponder “what will happen to me if I let him/her go?” That’s why it is important to have a relationship with God.
  1. If you discover they are unfaithful to you.
  • God has given women a strong spirit of discernment, and sometimes we want it so bad, we ignore it. Pay attention to the warning signs.
  • God does not have to bless a relationship he did not ordain.
  1. If something about them absolutely drive you insane, but you think once you get married it will go away…
  • Truth is, it only gets larger during the marriage.
  1. If the Lord has specifically instructed you to release the relationship.
  • But you can’t/won’t because you either “don’t want to hurt them” or you fear that if you end this relationship then you won’t have another chance at one.

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Kimberly Jones Pothier, also known as Real Talk Kim, is a music pastor, speaker, life coach and mentor. Kim is a very transparent leader sharing wisdom from failed relationships, and speaks life to every ear that wants to hear. Kim is on a God given assignment is to love people back to life. She believes God has a specific plan for each individual’s life but they must release the past in order to link with the future God has for them. Follow @RealTalkKim (Instagram & Twitter) for encouragement and daily inspiration. Also, catch her on the big screen starring in “Real Preachers of Atlanta” Wednesdays at 10pm EST on Oxygen.


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