I recently sat in on a conference call with minister and life coach/mentor Tera Carrisa Hodges and the author of “She Who Waits” Alfreda Jones-Roby. Roby took herself off the dating scene and was celibate for 10 years. Hodges & Roby blessed my life and I wanted to share the “Woman to Woman” wisdom:
Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.”
- Tell your “date” as soon as possible that you are celibate.
- There is Power in Waiting. Women, wait for the mate to find you. God is a God of order and will speak to your potential husband prior to revealing the vision to you.
- Make yourself available and get out the house. Lose that look of “I am taken.”
- Don’t let fear set in. Your clock is NOT ticking.
- You can be compatible with someone, but it does not mean you are equally yoked.
- Know the person’s character, and interpret what the person’s fruit say about them. Pay attention to what others say about the person too.
- You are dating his representative; dig deeper into the character of the person, date him long enough to be a predictor of his behavior and know what makes him tick.
- Confirm if God has sent him or not.
The flesh is never satisfied; where your mind goes, the body goes. Seek God in all you do.
Matthew 6:33 “Seek first the kingdom of God”
- Take “spiritual baths,” with lit candles in a dim bathroom, with a playlist of pure worship music. The more you commune with God, the more you are free from frustration.
- Have an accountability partner.
On dating men who are not celibate:
- A man can “say” he is celibate, but don’t just take his word for it. Be patient. You will know a man by the fruit he bears. And everything concealed will be revealed, if you stay pure. By not staying pure, you run the risk of making excuses for the red flags and you stick around even when you know the ending will be bad.
- A man who can control his sex life before marriage, is a man who can control his sexual desires during marriage.
- If your “type” work, you would be married by now. Broaden your perspective and be attracted to a good man. Go to God and seek godly counsel for your standards.
On being equally yoked:
- Does both you and your mates’ God given assignments match? Can you see one another in each other’s assignment?
- These are questions you should be asking during the courting process: What is your God given purpose? What do you think you were put on this earth to achieve?
If you would like to add more insightful advice about pro-celibacy then please feel free to comment!!